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Friday, September 9, 2011

Ahhhhh, It's Friday night

From my back deck I can hear the band warming up for the big game tonight...Yep, it's officially football season and I am sad. Why ? Because for the last 13 years, football has been the one constant in my life (other than family, duh). We have lived in 3 different states in the last 13 years, but every fall our lives have revolved around football. Both my boys played since they were 8 years old and the helmets looked bigger than their little bodies. Every fall was filled with fundraisers, muddy uniforms, treats for tired players, long rides to far away games, freezing my toosh off on metal bleachers, selling raffle tickets, yelling till my throat hurt, listening (ad nauseum) to how "unfair" something was, cleet shopping, manning the refreshment booth, football banquets with BAD food, concussions , torn ACL's, trips to the physical therapist and many more fond, fond memories. Even  last year, when both boys were playing in college and I didn't have to sell anything or wash anything, our lives still focused on football for the autumn months and they came home to watch the Steelers, bringing their buddies with them.
This year my youngest son is in the Marines and my oldest son is out on his own so it's the first season where I dont have a child playing football... somewhere. I'm not sure if I like it or not. Even when I was sick and couldn't make it to every game I can remember the hubs carrying me from the car to the chairs he set up near the end zone (only place we could put chairs) so I could watch for awhile. Even then I missed our normal spot on the 50 yard line.

I guess today I am just feeling a little sad at the realization that those times are over. Even the anticipation of the Steeler's first game on Sunday is a bit sad. My boys always had a crowd here for the games. Sure, the inlaws are still coming over, but my oldest is having his friends over to his house for the game, so it's just us. Now before you all think I am a football fanatic...let me tell you that I'm really not. I learned what position my kids played and know the general rules of the game and since I'm from western Pa, I bleed black & gold and always, always root for the Steelers, but mostly I just loved watching my boys play, or making a mountain of  food for the boys and their friends when the Steelers played.

I am just stuck on sad today. I am really trying to figure out what I am supposed to do now (sigh). My whole adult life has been spent as a mother and now my nest is empty and I just dont know what to do with myself. I am sure God will shine a light on the situation, as He always does, but it's still sad...Like when you finish the last page of really terrific book where you feel you KNOW the people in the book. You stay up reading all night because you want to see what happens, but it's almost sad because you know the story is over. Thankfully in life , this chapter might be over, but perhpas a new book is just beginning. That's the way I am going to try to look at it anyway.

 Here are a few pictures of my guys in high school and college (sigh, again)
 
Kirk in high school

Kirk at college

Kyler in college

Kyler & Ashlee on Senior Night

Our house decorated for the game

Well there you have it...my sweet little boys are all grown up. I need to dig up all their little kid pictures from football...they are too cute, but I didn't think I could stand that today. I am surprised at how emotional I am over this...silly me.

OK, gotta go get dinner started. It's after 7 and the hubs will be getting home soon.

Grace to you,
Margie


10 comments:

  1. I understand. I have 2 sons who also played football like yours did. We had football on TV every Sat & Sun. as well. After awhile it gets better & you realize that you have more time to sew or hook.
    Ellie

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  2. Oh my dear Margie: My heart breaks for you, my friend! This is yet but another chapter in your life with new memories to be made! I will be going through this in about 7 years when my Josh is 18...I went through this with my daughter and my heart still aches...I feel your pain and sadness. Blessings, Patti ;)

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  3. I feel for you Margie. I still have my girls at home. Not there yet. I will say a prayer for your "new light" to shine.
    Blessings.
    Rhonda

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  4. A very sweet post. I understand so much of what you are saying and it is a hard place. I know that God will open up a big door for you.
    It is so hard sometimes to be in this place.
    Then you get grand kids and it changes all over again. :)

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  5. Boy! I can relate to this! Seems we spend the biggest part of our lives mothering...and then it is done. I go through periods where I really miss my kids. :(. Work helps. Developing hobbies is helpful! Grandchildren are the cure! Hugs!

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  6. I can relate to what you are experiencing. My two boys weren't into sports in that way, but our house was the house to go to and I always had a crowd of teens over for lots of good food. I took such pleasure in planning baked treats or fixing up pans of lasagna to feed the kids! When the boys left home, I was still cooking for a dozen, even though it was just the two of us. LOL I still miss those meals, but life has a way of turning a new page and you'll begin to enjoy a different kind of relationship with your young men, and find that you have time and energy to explore your new interests! It gets better! (Plus, they still call with their news to share and seek out your advice even more!) Take care!

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  7. Wow...this brought a tear to my eye! I too am a football mom. My youngest has been playing for 6 years now, from flag as a little guy to Quarterback now. I still have two years left before he graduates high school and I LOVE every minute of it! We also live near the school so when you said you could hear the band warming up I got that too! I have often wondered what it will be like when my boys aren't with me anymore and I can feel your pain. Be sure to get yourself some chocolate to soothe that heart while you watch the Steelers game...my boy is also a Steelers fan, hubby likes Dallas & I'm a Patriots girl (BTW Tom Brady wants to be my boyfriend!!). Good luck in this new chapter, I'll be thinking of you!! ~Kriss~

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  8. Awww....poor Margie....I can only imagine what it must be like....for me it was baseball - and I still get all teary-eyed when i see those young guys in their uniforms. We lived too far out in the country to be a "go-to" house, but I can imagine how empty it must feel. I'm not a huge football fan (but I do love my Pack!), but find the sound of it on tv in the fall to be so comforting. So even when the hubby (who is a HUGE fan) isn't home, I often have a gave on....Hope that empty spot gets filled up with lots of new memories and traditions....Smiles & Hugs ~ Robin

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  9. Hi Margie my name is Denise and I just found your blog and I am so glad I did. I think we have lots in common. I too am an empty nester and miss the Friday night football games. My son played in middle school, high school and college and is now also a Marine. My crafting "love" is cross stitch but I have been wanting to try rug hooking for a long time so I think your tutorials will help me in that area. I am from northeast Ohio so we are definitely in the same area of the country but I am originally from Pennsylvania and will always be a Steeler fan. I look forward to following you along on your blogging journey.

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  10. Margie, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. It brought tears to my eyes when I read it. Yes, you have a whole new exciting chapter ahead of you... this is just the boring part of the book that you have to read to get to the good stuff (oh, and not at all to say that your life is boring so please don't misinterpret that!).

    I come from a small town that didn't have football so I never got to experience the "Friday night" lights and excitement until my kids came along. My oldest son is linebacker for the JV team and my middle school daughter has been cheering for the past 4 years. So right now we are loving Monday, Thursday, and Friday nights! Little guy will start 1st grade football next year.

    Even though my house can be a mess, the kids can get rambunctious, and life seems chaotic at times... thank you for the reminder for me to slow down and just enjoy this time we have!

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